Good evening and Welcome to the Australia Bureau of Statistics latest press release. I really love my country so the A still stands for Australia. But here, as in many countries, BS stands for something else entirely. I certainly have no idea what some people smoke, drink, take or where they’ve completed their tertiary studies but to produce such figures as I’ll reveal below, there just has to be something seriously wrong. How do they gather their figures? Who do they speak to? How do they sift and sieve the good from the bad or the lies from the truth and do any of them actually HAVE a mortgage, run a home or balance a bloody chequebook? The following is nonsense, means nothing and when I showed a few people today, they laughed and asked me to point them to this Place de la Nirvana where they could have a mortgage and household expenses that were less than $450.00 a week and where could they sign up. I said I’m sure I could find them somewhere but they’d be 200 kilometres from the nearest hospital, ‘maybe’ have internet and perhaps even have to pump their water by hand but it was do-able!
So, here it is….